C’était le jour de la rentrée, déjà. Comme chaque année, les vacances étaient passées bien trop vite à ton goût, mais peu importe : aujourd’hui, tu venais de retourner à Ilukaan, ton école mais aussi ce qui était devenu avec le temps, ta deuxième maison. A vrai dire, tu étais presque nostalgique, aujourd’hui : tu débutais ta dernière année d’études. Quel sentiment étrange, de savoir que ce serait la dernière fois que tu assisterais à ce spectacle. Lire la suite
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Forum multifandom ▲ Univers inspiré d'Harry Potter ▲ Avatars 200*320 illustrés/mangas ▲RPCB/RP-Post ▲ Tout public avec possibilité de R18 ▲ Forum au contexte évolutif ▲ Pas de minimum de mots



 

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ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ
 :: Hors jeu :: HRP

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— Strixyst
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ϟ Œuvre : OC
ϟ Parchemins : 224
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Sam 11 Aoû - 2:02

Je sais pas quand m'arrêter......... Du coup ça donne ça.
....dsl

Arthur: Francis and I are dating.
Keith, Kenneth, Mabel, Karkat and Francis: [gasp]
Arthur: Francis, why are YOU surprised?

***

Mabel: Goodnight honey!
Connor: Goodnight mommy.
Mabel: Goodnight monster that eats children who are bad!
Kenneth: [through radio under the bed] GOODNIGHT!

-Connor c’est l’un des enfants de Kenneth et Mab, au cas où-

***

[shopping at Target]
Karkat: [scanning the shelves]
Karkat: [looks around, then at a customer] Have you seen my husband?
Customer: [shakes their head]
Karkat: MARCO!
Dave: [from nearby] POLO!
Karkat: [looks at customer] That came from the juice aisle, didn’t it?

***

Wendy: Girls like mysterious guys.
Kenneth: Got it.
[later]
Mabel: Where are we going?
Kenneth: It’s none of your business!

***

Renji: Sold my mattress on eBay a couple nights back so I had some money to buy a pet.
Renji: My back? Stiff.
Renji: Byakuya? Mad.
Renji: My iguana? Sick as fuck.

***

Alfred: Luciano is on a cruise so while he’s gone I’m gonna cut the sleeves off of all my shirts.
Arthur: Why?
Alfred: He’s pretty much 85% of my impulse control.

***

Karkat: Mother fucker!
Kenneth: Dude there’s kids here!
Karkat:
Karkat: Mommy fucker?
Arhur: NO.

***

Keith: Have you asked Mabel out yet?
Kenneth: Well, technically not yet but in my mind we already have children.

***

Mads I know this is not gonna sound how I mean it to sound…
Mads: I wanna fuck this pizza.
Alfred: I get it.
Alfred: You should never say that to anyone else…
Alfred: But, I get it.

***

Mabel: Admit it Kenny. You’ve fallen for me.
Kenneth: I didn’t fall for you, Mab. You fucking tripped me.

***

Mabel: Gabe I don’t care what you say. I love Kenneth and I’m still going to marry him even if you don’t like him.
Gabriel: Really? [to Kenneth] This makes me like you even less.
Kenneth: That’s okay I’m not really a fan of myself either.

***

[during the “carry your partner” portion of a race]
Tomislav: [carries Thandi bridal-style, jogs a little and talks calmly with her]
Renji: [sprints past, carries Morgan over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes; they’re both screaming]

***

Angela: Jesse, you’re a genius!
Jesse: Yeah, I get called that a lot.
Angela: What, a genius?
Jesse: No, Jesse

***

[Cirilla accidentally tells Feliciano’s secret]
Feliciano: You promised not to tell!
Karkat: Hitler promised not to invade Czechoslovakia, Feliciano. Welcome to the real world.

***

Renji: I would do anything for you.
Morgan: Tell me my hair is cooler than yours.
Renji: I would do almost anything for you.

***

Kenneth: Where’s Mabel?
Keith: Don’t worry about her.
Kenneth: Oh I’m sorry, have you met me?

***

Morgan: Did you just fall?
Renji: No. I attacked the floor.
Morgan: Backwards?
Renji: I’m freaking talented.

***

Arthur: On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re a 9…and I’m the 1 you need.
Francis: No wtf I’m a 10.

***

Mabel: I’m cold
Kenneth: Here, take my jacket
Dave: Hey, I’m cold too
Karkat: What???? [taking off jacket] I told you to bring more layers but of course you didn’t listen and now [piling scarves on him] now look, I’ve got to make sure you don’t FREEZE to death and [taking somebody else’s hat] how long have you been cold and why you didn’t say something sooner????

***

Alfred: Do you ever see something that changes your life?
Luciano: I saw you.
Alfred: Honestly that’s so sweet and it really makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of a cute dog dressed up as a bunny.

***

Damianos: I’m sorry I’m late, I got caught up doing things.
Laurent: [strodes into the room with a smirk on his face] I’m things

***

Gabriel: I wasn’t that drunk last night.
Angela: You were flirting with Jack last night.
Gabriel: So? He’s my boyfriend.
Angela: You asked if he was single.
Angela: And cried when he said he wasn’t.

***

Angela, after placing her hands over Gabriels eyes: Guess who!
Gabriel: It’s either Angela or the cold, clammy hands of death.
Angela: It’s Angela!
Gabriel: Damnit.

***

[after Angela gave Lucio some protective gears for when he is roller-skating]
Lucio: That helmet looks kind of lame.
Angela: You know what’s not lame? Safety.

***

Kiku, whispering to Arthur: Tell him “You have beautiful eyes”.
Arthur: That’s good, great idea.
Arthur, turning to Francis: I have beautiful eyes.

***

Jesse: *playing out of tune guitar*
Hanzo: You take requests?
Jesse: Sure
Hanzo: Please stop

***

Renji: Romeo and Juliet is a love story, right?
Angelina: Romeo and Juliet is NOT a love story. It is a tragedy about how young love is stupid and shortsighted.
Byakuya: Romeo and Juliet is indeed a tragedy, but the love between the two stars is not stupid or shortsighted - it is genuine and beautiful. The tragedy comes from the fact that the rivalry between the Capulets and the Montagues destabilizes their community and kills two innocent kids who loved each other.
Morgan, walzting into room sipping wine: *snort* Mercutio is gay.

***

Francis: From now on we'll be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One.
Francis: Gabriel, codename "Been there, done that".
Francis: Arthur is "Currently doing that".
Francis: Kenneth is "It happened once in a dream".
Francis: Keith, codename "If I had to pick a dude".
Francis: Mabel is "Eagle Two".
Mabel: Oh, thank god.

***

Lucio: Luciel, you deserve an award for putting up with me
Luciel: You are my award, Lucio
Gabriel: Jack, you deserve an award for putting up with me
Jack: Hell yeah I do, you're a real bitch sometimes

***

Mabel: [quietly reading her book, listening to classical music, very focused]
Kenneth: [upside down in library chair] Do you think stars have feelings?

***

Keith: Francis, would you do me the honor of becoming my brother-in-law?
Arthur: Did you just propose to him…FOR ME?
Keith: Someone had to do it, Arthur!
Kenneth: *nodding vigorously in the background*

***

Luciano: Tomorrow is garbage day
Karkat: I can’t believe they have an entire day dedicated to you

***

Kenneth: Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate just one time.
Keith: Maybe you should go the fuck to sleep.

***

Mabel: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you had lost throughout your life.
Arthur: It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back.
Kenneth: Oh wow, my childhood happiness! Thank you for finding this.
Gabriel: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years!
Jesse: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.
Karkat: Mental stability, my old friend.
Jack: My innocence, what a surprise.
Mabel: Guys, could you lighten up a little?

***

Policeman: What're your names?
Renji: don't tell him, Morgan
Policeman [writing down]:  Morgan
Renji: shit
Morgan: good job, Renji
Policeman:
Morgan: oh fuck

***

Luciano: Can't you compliment me just once?
Karkat: You have amazing determination and willpower
Luciano: Wow, thank y-
Karkat: -to be this stupid
Luciano:
Luciano: I'll take it.

***

Kiku: What are you looking at?
Arthur, taking a Buzzfeed quiz to find out which holiday candle scent he is: Porn.

***

Wendy: I don’t have the energy for this.
Mabel: For what?
Wendy: *gestures vaguely*

***

Arthur: Why are you looking at me?
Francis: Because you are beautiful.
[A moment later.]
Francis: And you are looking at me, too. Is it because I am beautiful...
Arthur: No.
Francis: ...glorious, wonderful...
Arthur: I said NO.
Francis: ...lovely, hands-
Arthur: AAaah, yes. Just be quiet.

**

Lance: Bro, tell me your scariest horror story.
Kenneth: Life without you bro.
Lance: Bro.

***

Mabel: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Kenneth asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight.
[later]
Kenneth: What kind of animal is the pink panther?
Mabel, already taking off her clothes: Kenneth, you’re so fucking stupid.



Y a des jolis aes là-dessous ♥:
 
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ϟ Œuvre : Axis Powers Hetalia
ϟ Parchemins : 384
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Dim 12 Aoû - 15:11

Byakuya : So Renji sneezed and instead of saying "bless you" i accidentally said "shut the fuck up"‬
Francis : How do you accidentally say "shut the fuck up"?‬

***

Laurent: I’m a confident driver
Damen: you almost ran someone over?
Laurent: confidently

***

Mabel: The stars are so beautiful
Kenneth: they're just giant balls of gas
Mabel: don't ruin the momen-
Kenneth: and yet none of them are as huge as my love for you
Mabel *choking up*: oh

***

Morgan: See this? This is my “I don’t care” face.
Thandi: That’s your everyday face.

***

Soma: My throat was so dry, I thought I wouldn’t be able to talk.
Arthur: At least some good would have come from the drought then.

***

Ciri : Have you ever been yelled at by Yennefer?
Student: I’m not afraid of her.
Ciri: So that’s a no.

***

Karkat: You like me? You like my personality?
Dave: I was surprised too.

***

Alfred: Guys, let me ask you a question. Can you two agree on anything?
Luciano: Yes.
Karkat: Not really.
Alfred: Great.

***

Jack: Is that your hand on my ass?
Gabriel: It was an accident.
Jack: Gabriel, your hand’s still on my ass.
Gabriel: IT’S STILL AN ACCIDENT.

***

Kenneth: No but are you sure you love me, like really sure, I don’t want to pressure you.
Mabel: We have been married for 23 years.

***

Francis: Arthur, you're drunk.
Arthur: I am not drunk.
Francis: Oh, yeah, tell the time.
Arthur: *points at clock* I am not drunk!

***

Francis: *passing by* *sees Arthur staring* Enjoying the show?
Arthur: Are you always this cocky?
Francis: Only on Tuesdays... and whenever beautiful men are involved.
Arthur: So, you think I'm beautiful?
Francis: Actually, it's Tuesday.

***

Damen: Feels like you're being a little harsh.
Zak: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh, I'll turn it up.

***

Renji: Let's get one thing straight.
Byakuya: ?
Renji : i'm not.

***

Jesse : I can fit my whole world in the palm of my hands
Hanzo : that’s impos-
Jesse : *cups Hanzo’s face*
Hanzo : *blushing* I have a reputation

***

Keith K. : i love you
Francis: is that you or the firewhisky talking? *amused*
Keith K. : it's me talking to the firewhisky

***

Lance: I’m such a hopeless bromantic.
Kenneth: Uh, what?
Lance: Like, high five me in the rain, fist bump me gently as the sun sets.

***

Luciano : Is this whiskey or perfume?
Alfred: *chugs the entire bottle*
Alfred: It’s perfume.

***

Student : I like your glasses
Tenya : i'm afraid they're not for sale
Student : haha
Tenya : laugh all you want, they are not for sale

***

Mads : I wasn't that drunk last night!
Kenneth : You were flirting with Berwald...
Mads : So? He's my boyfriend.
Kenneth : You asked him if he was single and then cried when he said he wasn't.

***

Arthur: *catches Francis staring at him*
Arthur: What are you doing?
Francis: Just admiring raw beauty.
Arthur: Well stop it.
Francis: Okay..
Francis: *turns over to look at girls*
Arthur: UHH, I THINK THE FUCK NOT!!!

***

Damen: *takes a deep breath*
Damen: I lo-
Anyone who has spent five seconds around him ever: Yes, you love Laurent, we know, you love Laurent so much, you love hiiiim so fucking much, you just love Laurent, WE KNOW, you love Laurent! You fucking love Laurent! Okay, we know, we get it, YOU LOVE LAURENT. WE GET IT.

***

Laurent: I’m very upset and nothing can make me feel better right now.
Byakuya:
Laurent: No.
Francis:
Laurent: Guys, don’t.
Francis and Byakuya: *brings Damen into the room*
Laurent: *fighting back a smile* Dammit.

***

Kenneth: So, let me get this straight-
Damen: More like let me run this bi you.
Francis: Let’s just see how this pans out.
Mikasa: We should ace-ess the situation.
Morgan: I’m gay.

***

Francis: What do you find is the most attractive thing about boys?
Morgan: Usually, their girlfriends.

***

Karkat: STRIIIIIDEEERRR!
Dave, tearing up: You’re so beautiful and so fucking loud

***

*ordering a cake for Francis’s birthday over the phone*
Salesman: What would you like the cake to say?
Alfred: *covers phone and turns to Luciano*
Alfred: I-I didn’t know cakes could talk.

***

Mads: Hey Ciri, do you have Yennefer’s number? I kinda wanna, you know.. *hip thrust*
Ciri: … Yennefer is my mom.
Mads: yeah no shit, that’s probably why you have her number.

***

Hana: Why are you so strong?
Genji: I grew up with a older brother.
Genji: Someone had to protect him.

***

Kiku: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
Ciri: We lost Feliciano!
Kiku: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

***

Damen: Laurent is really nice person underneath the part of him that hates everyone.

***

Thandi: I’m not obsessed with Tomislav Kovačević !
Angelina/Morgan (well, more like les joueuses N'EST-CE PAS) :
Spoiler:
 




De la part des potos:
 
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ϟ Œuvre : Homestuck
ϟ Parchemins : 658
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Dim 12 Aoû - 23:56

Allez, une spéciale "Homestuck quotes" car j'ai envie.

____________

Feliciano : Shucks!!!!!
Gabriel : Hey, I'm upset about it too, but let's watch the fucking language.

____________

Alfred, studying : so i built this sick pyramid of books to help focus my brain chi and spiritual majyyks and if at all possible to blitz my chakras out the yin yang
Luciano : is it working?
Alfred : no

____________

Arthur: FRANCIS FUCK OFF
Arthur: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.

____________

Kenneth : If I agree to confess to her, will you stop tormenting me about it??
Francis: yes
Francis: but only
Francis: because that will be impossible for me to do
Francis: when u + her r snoggin hard in motherfuckin makeout paradise
Francis: A K A SEX LAND

___________

Jack, to Gabe : I Am Not Scared Of You!
Jack : None Of Us Are!
Isaac : (i kind of am)
Jack : Isaac Shut Up!

__________

Hanzo: Why am I being stupid??
Hanzo: I think I've spent too much time around Genji.
Hanzo: I've also probably spent too much time sharing his genes.

__________

Francis : Come on, now tell her a poem !
Kenneth, panicking : Your eyes are an ocean
Kenneth : Your breast
Kenneth : Are also an ocean

__________

Mabel : Are you sober enough to do all that?
Morgan : i think
Morgan : the answer
Morgan : unfortunately
Morgan : is yes
Morgan : :/

_________

Certaines ont été modifiées des originales, juste pour ajouter un contexte ou coller un peu plus.


ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.

carcinoGeneticist vous trolle en #626262

Spoiler:
 

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— Strixyst
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ϟ Œuvre : Axis Power, Hetalia
ϟ Parchemins : 356
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Mar 14 Aoû - 18:40

Thandi : WHY EVERYONE SO HOT ???
Morgan : Climate change.


Feliciano ne s'arrête jamais de parler en #006BA9
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ϟ Œuvre : Voltron : Legendary Defender
ϟ Parchemins : 134
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Mar 28 Aoû - 16:44

Gabriel : Well, i love you
Jack : Oh yeah ? Well, i love you too
Gabriel : Well, that's the first time we've said that.
Jack : Yes it is
Gabriel : Well, i'm gonna kiss you
Jack : Well, you better
______________________________
Lance : How can you not care ?
Pidge : //shrug// Like this
______________________________
Kenneth : When you see Francis, tell him Kenneth Kirkland says hello
Kenneth : He'll know what it means
Keith : You sure he'll crack that code ?
______________________________
Hunk : I haven't made so many cookies since 5th grade
Pdige : What for, a bake sale ?
Hunk : No, juste a friday night.
______________________________
Lance : You didn't cry when Bambi's mother died ?
Keith Kogane : Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.
______________________________
Francis and Arthur : -into a kiss-
Dave : Aww. Get a room.
Francis : We have one.
Dave : I know, use it.
______________________________
Thandi : -see a picture of a girl- Who is she ?
Tomi : -Give the name-, my camp girlfriend
Thandi : Did you break up with her ?
Tomi : No, we're still together
______________________________
Gabriel : Why is Jesse naked ?
Jesse : I had to show Jack something
Gabriel : Naked ?
Jesse : a "guy" problem.
______________________________
Luciano : Hey, Alfred. You got a minute ? I really need to talk to you
Alfred : Oh,yeah. Is this a cold-pizza talk or a leftover-meat loaf talk ?
Luciano : Well, neither.
Alfred: Oh, my god, what's up ?
______________________________
Damen : Go tell him he's cute. What's the worst that could happen ?
Renji : He could hear me.
______________________________
Mabel : It's okay to cry. You don't have to be macho all the time.
Keith : I just never really cried. I'm not a crying kind of guy.
Kenneth : Come on, there's gotta be something that gets you choked up. Like...
Kenneth : What if you saw a three-legged puppy ?
Keith : I'd be sad, sure. But I wouldn't cry.
Kenneth : What if the puppy said, "Help me, Keith, All the other puppies pick on me"
Keith : Cry ? I just found a talking puppy. I'm rich !
Kenneth :
Mabel :
_____________________________


I have two homes, like someone who leaves their hometown and then establishes a life elsewhere. They might say that they're going home when they return, but then they go home as well when they go to where they live now. Varadero is home, Ilukaan is home.@Alyna pour l'image


Spoiler:
 
Merci Gabe pour ce magnifique dessin
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— Strixyst
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ϟ Œuvre : Axis Power, Hetalia
ϟ Parchemins : 356
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Ven 31 Aoû - 15:44

Arthur : This is stupid.
Kenneth : Oh, there it is again! You think I’m stupid !
Arthur : No, there is a difference between being stupid and acting stupid.
Kenneth : Oh, yeah? Well, there’s a difference between being a jerk and being an dickhead !
Arthur : No, there isn’t! They’re synonyms!

------------------

Morgan, texting Renji : Goodnight homo.
Morgan, correcting : homie*
Morgan, texting again : Eh, same thing.

------------------

Wendy : Are you a practicing homosexual?
Renji : I don't need to practice, I'm very good at it

------------------

Renji : What’s the signal if something goes wrong?
Morgan : How about “Oh shit?”
Renji : That’s good.

------------------

Renji : If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?
Thandi : You're strong!
Morgan : You're weak.
Byakuya : You're a fucking dumbass is what you are.

------------------

Kiku : Arthur, what’s your favorite meal?
Arthur : oh it’s-
Francis, walking by them: Me.

------------------

Thandi [dunk] : I DO WHAT I WANT !
Angelina : I’m calling Tomislav.
Thandi : No wait !

------------------

Feliciano : Ciri, what does IDK mean?
Ciri : I don’t know.
Feliciano : Why does NOBODY know?!

------------------

Tomislav : Morgan, we need to talk about your maturity.
Morgan [standing on chair]: Those are some mighty brave words for a guy standing in lava.

------------------

Thandi : What should I do?
Angelina : Oh… this is where I give you advice and pretend you’re going to listen to it?

------------------

Francis : We're engaged!
Arthur, panicking : IN COMBAT! *Punches Francis.*

------------------

Mabel : I’m literally going to fight the next person who hates on my boyfriend.
Kenneth : I hate myself.
Mabel : ALRIGHT YOU BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF SHIT, COME ON.

------------------

Kenneth, at 4am: But it should be called a teethbrush, Gareth, because you brush all of your teeth, not just one tooth that would be ridiculous-
Gareth : Please go to sleep, for once.
Kiku, suddenly crawling on the bed : Let him finish.

------------------

Genji : Can I ask a dumb question?
Hanzo : Better than anyone I know.

------------------

Jesse : Remember when I was in first year ?
Gabriel : Hmm?
Jesse : I came up to you cause I hurt my foot.
Gabriel : And I nursed you up, I remember.
Jesse : You punched me in the face, telling me that the pain on my face will distract me from the pain on my foot.
Gabriel : Ehm... It was a punch filled with care and love?

------------------

Lance : there are eight wonders of the world
Keith Kogane : no, there are seven
Lance : there’s eight
Lance : have you seen my ass in these jeans?

------------------

Renji, flirting with Byakuya : I heard you like bad boys. Because I'm bad. ... At everything. *Wink with both eyes.*
Alternatively :
Morgan, flirting with a girl : I heard you like bad girls. Because I'm bad. ... At everything. *Wink with both eyes.*


Feliciano ne s'arrête jamais de parler en #006BA9
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Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Mer 12 Sep - 13:02

Kenneth : What do I do if she kisses me ?
Keith : Kiss her back !
Kenneth : Okay but... why her back ?
Keith :

-------------------------------------------

Jesse : Okay, if I was the last person on Earth, would you date me ?
Hanzo : Jesse, if you were the last person on Earth I wouldn't exist.

-------------------------------------------

Luciano : If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, "homo" sapiens... is that why they're extinct ?
Arthur : Luciano, Homo sapeisn are people !
Luciano : Hey, I'm not judging !

-------------------------------------------

Lance : YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? TIME TO PAARRRRTTTYYYY!
Keith Ko. : *Groggy from just waking up* How are you this energetic in the morning? It’s 6am.

-------------------------------------------

Francis : Are you this rude to all your friends?
Karkat : Yes, don’t think you’re special.

-------------------------------------------

Kenneth : What’s up with you?
Arthur : What do you mean?
Kenneth : You have been nice and helpful and considerable all day. What’s your game?

-------------------------------------------

Kiku : Must you always attack me with words?
Feliciano : You want me to use rocks?

--------------------------------------------

Morgan : Oh, sorry. It’s just exhausting being right all the time, isn’t it?
Alfred :
Morgan : I’m just kidding. It’s amazing.

--------------------------------------------

Thandi : Tomi' and I slept together.
Angelina : And?
Thandi : I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Angelina : Oh, sorry.
Angelina, in a shocked voice: And?!

--------------------------------------------

Jack : If I died, how much would you miss me?
Gabriel : It’s cute that you think death can get you out of this relationship.

--------------------------------------------

Lance : Sorry, I lost my cool for a second.
Pidge : You can’t lose something you never had.

-------------------------------------------

Naruto : Am I right, Sakura ?
Salura : I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

--------------------------------------------

Renji : Gather around, we have a problem.
Morgan : What? The fire?
Renji : No, the- wait, there’s a fire?
Morgan : Never mind, this sounds more interesting.

--------------------------------------------

Kenneth : Do you trust me?
Mabel : Yes.
Kenneth : Wait, what? Why?

---------------------------------------------

Kenneth : Bro, I want to live in your socks.
Lance : What the fuck, bro?
Kenneth : So I can be with you every step of the way.
Lance : [close to tears] Bro?
Kenneth : Bro.

---------------------------------------------

Keith : Wow, you are just so smart.
Gareth : Yes, that’s something I’ve been excused of many times.

----------------------------------------------

Mabel : Woah, look at the sea!
Lance, drunk, looking up : The water is so blue.
Mabel : That’s the sky.

-----------------------------------------------

Renji : My sexuality doesn’t define me.
Keith Ki. : Hey, how are you?
Renji : Gay.
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— Strixyst
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ϟ Œuvre : Axis Power, Hetalia
ϟ Parchemins : 356
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Mer 26 Sep - 18:45

Renji : The human body is 70% water. So we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety.
Morgan : Excuse me, with the amount of salt and alcohol that I consume, I’m more like an anxiety pickle.

----------------

Cirilla : Hey Lovino, think I can get this egg in this bottle without cracking it.
Lovino : No.
Cirilla : *Throws egg at Lovino*
Cirilla : Guess your right.

----------------

Renji : I tell gay jokes because I am a gay joke.

----------------

Keith Kogane : Stop setting things on fire because you want to know what will happen. What will happen is fire.
Lance : But what if something else happens…..just one time?

----------------

Karkat, walking into a store with Dave : Okay, mission number two, find out where the popcorn is.
Dave : Wait, what was mission number one?
Karkat : Fuckin getting here Dave.

-----------------

Karkat : Start looking around you and all you see are people the world would be better without.
Kiku : Feliciano probably.

----------------

*Before his first date with Francis.*
Gabriel : Have you figured out what you’re going to say to him?
Arthur, to himself: Fuck me!
Gabriel : Uhh, maybe not start with that.

----------------

Keith Kirkland : Wow Mabel is so beautiful.
Kenneth : Beautiful? She’s the reason faces were invited you IDIOT!

----------------

Jesse : So tired of these weak ass naps... time to level up bitch put me in a coma.

----------------

Keith Kirkland : Arthur, how ya doin?
Arthur, surrounded by fire in the kitchen : Do I have to answer?

----------------

Kiku *Everytime he's with Feliciano et Ciri* : All right! We did not die today, I call that an unqualified success.

----------------

Mabel : When are you free?
Kenneth : I'm forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so I am never truly ‘free’ but I don't really have plans all next week except for monday.

----------------

Yennefer : “When’s your birthday?” Awfully bold of you to assume that I was born.

----------------

Kiku : A theif.
Arthur : Thief?
Kiku : Theif
Arthur : It's i before e, except after c.
Kiku : Thceif.
Arthur : No.

----------------

Jesse : *groaning in pain*
Hanzo : Jesus what happened to you kid?
Jesse : I ate a 5 pound bag of orange flavored gummy bears.

----------------

Cirilla : Mom, is “idiot” a swear word?
Yennefer : No, but it’s not a nice word to call someone.
Cirilla, turning to the rest of the people : I was RIGHT, FUCKERS!

----------------

Kenneth : Sure is dark in here.
Feliciano :
Kenneth : I'm not scared or anything.
Feliciano :
Kenneth : I mean, who's scared of the dark these days??? Not me. Not Kenneth Kirkland. No sir.
Feliciano : Do you want me to hold your hand?
Kenneth : Yes please.

----------------

Karkat : You have no idea what I'm capable of.
Daria : Do not take this personally, but I feel like I am being threatened by a cupcake.

----------------

Thandi : You think this is a bad idea.
Morgan : Without a doubt.
Thandi : Then why are you smiling?
Morgan : Because bad ideas are my favorite kind.


Feliciano ne s'arrête jamais de parler en #006BA9
Fiche || Relations
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— Cervirald
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ϟ Œuvre : Overwatch
ϟ Parchemins : 5
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Jeu 27 Sep - 23:06

Voilà, j'avais envie.

Mabel: You gotta win me a teddy bear.
Kenneth: I’m gonna win you a million teddy bears.
Mabel: Well, I want a billion teddy bears.
Kenneth: Well, that’s a little unrealistic.

***

Thandi: We’re adults.
Renji: When did that happen?
Morgan: And how do we make it stop?

***

Mabel: Does this make me a bad person?
Keith: Mab, there’s not a force in history that could make you a bad person.

***

Arthur: [ angry yelling ]
Francis: Quit being so MEAN to me or I’m going to fall in love with you.

***

Morgan: I hate men.
Renji: Good. More for me.

***

Dave: Anyone ever tell you you’ve got anger issues?
Karkat: I prefer the term “leadership skills.”

***

Dave: At my age do you know how I’m statistically most likely to die?
Karkat: At the hands of your boyfriend.
Dave: An accident.
Karkat: That’s how I’m gonna make it look.

***

Vincent: You know what they say. Behind every great man is a strong woman.
Yennefer: Oh, I wouldn’t know. I’ve never stood behind a man.

***

Renji, drunk: You, Morgan Rey, are an amazing woman, a mediocre crossword puzzle player, and my best friend.

***

Keith: I told you to stay back.
Kenneth: Yeah, but Keith, you said there was a dog!

***

Yennefer: It’s okay, Cirilla. Everyone’s afraid of something.
Cirilla: Even you?
Yennefer: No.

***

Genji: HAVE YOU SEEN MY BROTHER, HANZO?
Genji: HE’S ABOUT THIS TALL, BLACK HAIR, CLEARLY GAY BUT WE HAVEN’T HAD THE TALK

***

Gabriel: Hanzo isn’t that handsome.
Jesse: HE’S THE REASON FACES WERE INVENTED, YOU IDIOT.

***

Kenneth: So now we’re just supposed to do anything Tomislav does? What if he jumped off a cliff?
Mabel: If Tomislav were to jump off a cliff, he would’ve done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So, yes, if you see Tomislav jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

***

Jack: It’s hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.

***

Karkat: I’m actually kind of glad you came to your senses.
Luciano: Why’s that?
Karkat: Because I was running out of insults.

***

Kenneth, in bed with Mabel: [ rolls over ]
Kenneth: Hey.
Mabel: What?
Kenneth: You still like me right?
Mabel: Yeah????
Kenneth: Okay but, like like or like?
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— Cervirald
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ϟ Œuvre : Homestuck
ϟ Parchemins : 658
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Mer 3 Oct - 18:13

Arthur : Of course I touch myself when I think about you.
Arthur : It is called a facepalm.

__________________________________

Jack : Is there a delete history button for my life?

__________________________________

Alfred : Uh, Karkat, what are you doing ?
Karkat : Playing a game, what does it look like ?
Alfred : It looks like you are just laying on the floor. What game is this ?
Karkat : The floor is lava

__________________________________

Feliciano, innocent : What's crossdressing sex ?
Gabe : That's just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said.

__________________________________

Francis : Of course I’m an organ donor. Who wouldn’t want a piece of this?

__________________________________

Morgan: Harsh. Way to kick a poor lady while she's down.
Renji: Aww did I hurt your feelings?
Morgan: Jokes on you. I don't have feelings.

__________________________________

Jack: Where are you going ?
Gabe: Either to get ice-cream or commit a felony, I'll decide in the car.

__________________________________

Luciano: Why is your back all scratched up?
Alfred: *Flash back to chasing a raccoon after Luciano told him to leave it alone.*
Alfred: I'm having an affair.

__________________________________

Lena: You're completely literal. Metaphors go right over your head , don't they?
Puhnan: Nothing goes over my head ! My reflexes are to fast, I would catch it !

__________________________________

Gabe: Nobody likes you
Eridan: *Looks at Karkat, waiting for him to speak up.*
Karkat: No, he's right. Nobody likes you.

__________________________________

Peter: Hey baby what that mouth do?
Carmin: Recite Bible verses


ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.

carcinoGeneticist vous trolle en #626262

Spoiler:
 

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ϟ Œuvre : Axis Power : Hetalia
ϟ Parchemins : 340
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Ven 5 Oct - 22:36

Alfred: It's crazy how Leonardo could paint and invent all these things and still find the time to be a crime fighting turtle.
Luciano: And he was amazing in Titanic.
Alfred: A real Renaissance man.
Karkat: ...Jesus fucking Christ.

*

Dave: *does something ridiculous*
Karkat: Great, like I needed to get any more attracted to you.
Dave: ... what?
Karkat: ANNOYED. ANNOYED BY YOU. THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

*

Kenneth: Would you like to go on a date with me?
Mabel: Sure.
Kenneth: Oh no, this went exactly as planned, what do I do now?

*

Cashier: Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order?
Karkat: Ah yes, I want death.
Dave: He wants chicken nuggets.
Karkat: I said what I said.
Dave: I also said what I said.
Luciano: I want a McKnife to stab them.
Alfred: For me a strawberry sundae please.

*

Arthur: Why does everyone always assume the worst of me?
Keith: It saves time.

*

Kenneth: Do you ever think about how there could be a ghost breakdancing right in front of you and you would never know?
Keith: Go to sleep, Kenneth.

*

Mads: Please don't do it, Berwald.
Mads: Please, Berwald, I love you.
Mads: Please, don't do this.
Berwald, placing down a +4 card : U N O


.: Alfred parle de super-héros et de Quidditch en darkred. :.

Quand Alfred entend quelqu'un critiquer Captain America:
 

Aes !!:
 

Merci Luciano et Aly pour vos merveilleux avatars ♥️



Merci Isaac ♥️
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ϟ Œuvre : Prince Captif
ϟ Parchemins : 107
Re: ĪŅCØŘŔËCŤ ÍŁŮĶĀĂÑ Lun 15 Oct - 21:53

Francis: You’re gonna hate yourself in the morning if you stay up late.
Karkat: Joke’s on you, I’m gonna hate myself in the morning no matter what.

**

Gabriel: I’m a piece of trash…
Jack: As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up. Is 7 pm, okay?
Gabriel: You smooth fucker…

**

Arthur: Lord, give me patience.
Francis: I think you mean give me strength.
Arthur: If the Lord gave me strength, you’d be dead.

**

Morgan: Being gay isn’t a choice.
Morgan: It’s a game...
Morgan: (Pulls out huge stack of phone numbers)
Morgan: And I’m winning.

**

Kiku: I dare you to kiss the next person who enters the room.
Arthur: I'm not kissing anyo-
Francis: *walks in*
Arthur: FiNE i'LL dO IT oNLy bEcAUse yOu dAReD mE tOo

**

A man trying to flirt with Morgan: What do you mean no?
Morgan: I mean no. You wanna hear it in Spanish? No.

**

Damianos: What are you looking at?
Laurent, taking a BuzzFeed quiz to find out what holiday candle scent he is: Porn.

**

Jesse: Baby <3
Hanzo: Fellow associate.

**

Lance: *Walks into the kitchen at 3 AM to find Keith*
Lance: Aren't you suppose to be asleep?
Keith: I'm supposed to be a lot of things but I live to disappoint.

**

Sakura: what’s your relationship status?
Naruto: pringle. it’s like single but hungry.
Sakura:
Naruto:
Sakura:
Naruto:
Naruto: please date me ;;

**

Tomislav: babe, babe do the thing .
Thandi: *smiles*
Tomislav, breathlessly: wOW.

(marche avec le KennyMab aussi)

**

Daria: you’re violent.
Karkat: yeah but I’m short so it’s adorable.

**

Lynn: The only thing I'm not good at is modesty.
Lynn: ...Because I'm great at it!

**

Arthur: You know what I hate most about Bonnefoy?
Kiku: What?
Arthur: His stupid hair. His stupid, lame, awesome hair. It's so stupid and awesome.

**

Mabel: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Laurent: I’m a knife
Damen: He’s the little spoon

**

Kiku: I have a science headcanon
Feliciano: Can’t you just say hypothesis like a regular person?
Kiku: …
Kiku: So my science headcanon is-

**

Jesse: So, what’s it like dating Laurent?
Damianos: Once, I asked him for some water while he was pissed at me and he brought me a glass full of ice and said "wait"

(marche en inversant Jesse et Damen MDRRR)

**

Jack: What do you have against walls?
Gabriel: Nothing yet..
Gabriel: (Winks)

**

Laurent : From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One.
Byakuya, code name -- Been There, Done That.
Damen is -- Currently Doing That.
Tomislav is -- It Happened Once in a Dream;
Angie, code name -- If I Had To Pick a Gurl.
Gareth is -- Eagle Two.

Gareth: Oh thank God.

**

Dave: (at a restaurant) can you guys get a table? i need to park the car
Luciano: okay
(3 minutes later)
Alfred, carrying a table, sprinting out of the restaurant: START THE CAR!!!!!

**

Alfred: im upset
Arthur: im afraid to ask why
Alfred : bats eat spiders. what if batman comes into contact with spiderman. will spiderman be okay
Arthur:

**

Vincent: chillax!
Yennefer: that's not a word.
Vincent: sometimes the ones who deny "chillax" are the ones who need to chillax the most.

**

Karkat: what will this accomplish, idiot?! what are you trying to do?
Carmin, shouting through heavy tears: my best!

**

Mabel: you are a lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Kenneth: and you are a liar who thinks they can get away with everything they do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Mabel: i’m moving out, and I’M TAKING THE DOG WITH ME!
Keith, picking up the monopoly board: i think we should stop playing now

**

Karkat: “YoU lOoK sO mEaN” well don’t look at me
Carmin : ;;;

**

Luciel: (hacker voice) i'm in
Pidge: i don't think you're actually supposed to say "hacker voice"... and all you did was open google



De la part des potos !:
 
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